


Oh, How My Beating Heart Aches

by eightbulbasaurplushies



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: College, M/M, Revolution, i aint know shit just read it, just wanted to write zadr, not sure where im going w this, trans dib
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 05:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16947819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightbulbasaurplushies/pseuds/eightbulbasaurplushies
Summary: Dib discovers that being stuck in space is much better than college, and also discovers a few other things on the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty self indulgent, and I also have no idea where I'm going with it. I also haven't written in too long. Enjoy.

By the seventh hour, Dib had decided that this was definitely complete bullshit.

He knew the lead was probably garbage in the first place, kids usually aren’t serious when they tell him that they saw bigfoot in the woods, or dracula in the mall, or mothman in the bathroom, or whatever mad libs inspired cryptic situation you could think of, but Dib had really been grasping at straws lately, and the kid who’d tipped him off hadn’t, like, outwardly bullied him yet, so Dib felt inclined to at least investigate.  
At least investigating turned into a full on stake out as Dib waited semi patiently in the clearing of a local graveyard. It seemed promising, at first, a clearing in the trees beside a graveyard with one lone grave in the center, but by the fifth hour Dib was starting to consider the possibility of the kid sending him to a suspicious space on purpose. Now, he was starting to pack up his equipment in a huff. With his arms bursting with technology, he dragged his tired body back to his dorm.

Surprise, surprise, Dib’s roommate was still awake. When questioned, he replied that it was “4:20, dude!”, and made a motion as if he was smoking a joint, and as if he definitely wasn’t too broke to afford weed and also has probably never actually smoked it in his life. Dib tipped over onto his bed face first after leaving his equipment in a pile on the floor.  
“Really? You’re not going to clean that up?”  
Dib turned to stare daggers at the definitely-not-a-stoner-but-really-wants-to-be, and this indicated very well that the boy was being accused of being a hypocrite, what with the massive garbage fire on his side of the room.  
“Fuckin’ kid was lying about that ghost.” He said, rolling over to be on his back.  
“Can’t believe it.”   
“Can we please just go to bed?”   
The boy moved to look at Dib.  
“Not until you agree to go to that party this weekend. Trust me, it’ll loosen you right up! One shot and you’ll be so much less insane.” He said.  
“I don’t think you have a proper understanding of alcohol,” Dib replied, “and I already said no. I don’t like you or your friends.”  
“Come on, buddy! It’s gonna be fun.”  
“It will not be.”  
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeee-“  
“God, shut up!”  
“Not until you agree to go.”  
“Fine! Just let me sleep! I am tired and disappointed in my life.”   
The boy smirked.  
“You’re gonna be so much cooler after this, man. Trust me.” With that, he turned out his lamp and rolled over on his side.

Seriously doubting it, Dib, now in the privacy of darkness, took his shirt, and subsequently his binder, off his body, and flopped backwards on the bed.

\---

Christ, it smelled awful.   
Having managed to escape the drunken obnoxious grasp of his roommate, Dib wandered silently, red solo cup of soda in one hand, hoping that perhaps there was a dog or cat somewhere around there that he could hang out with for the remainder of the night. Weaving between people who seemed not to notice much that Dib was even there, he continued on his search for an animal. Frankly, he was surprised that nobody had approached him yet to ask incredulously whether or not he had actually been invited to the party.   
At one point, a girl that he wasn’t sure that he actually knew bumped his shoulder and cried out that she hadn’t seen him since high school, and subsequently asked him if he wanted to smoke pot with her and her friends.  
“We can get high as the fucking moon, all of us.”  
“Won’t I be hungover in the morning?”

The girl paused for a moment, deadpan, before breaking into a laughter so intense that she spilled half her drink on Dib’s foot.   
“You can’t get a weed hangover, silly! Come on, follow me.”

Before Dib could make much protest the girl had her arm linked in his, and was dragging him into another, less populated room. 

“Hey guys, I found Nick!” The girl swung the door open to reveal two people sitting on a queen sized mattress that lay in the center of the room.  
“Nick?” One replied, the boy sitting next to him looking equally confused.  
“From high school! Remember? He’s gonna smoke with us.” She plopped down on the mattress.  
The two exchanged glances.  
“Whatever, man. It’s your weed.” He shrugged.  
The girl smiled and pat the spot on the mattress that would complete their circle. Dib swallowed and looked between the expectant eyes in the room, his stomach in strange knots at the idea of doing something illegal, before he decided, fuck it, most people supposedly don’t even get high their first time. So he’s heard, anyway. Somewhere. He would try it and go. Reluctantly, he shut the door behind him and sat quietly on the mattress. The girl pat him on the shoulder.  
“Atta boy, Nick! Here, I’ll go first so you can see how.” She began to dig around in her coat pockets.  
“First timer, huh?” Asked one of the boys.  
Dib nodded from over the mouth of his plastic cup. The boy clapped him on the back.  
“This is gonna be fun, dude. Loosen up a little.”  
Dib was reminded of his roommate convincing him to come here in the first place, and had the urge to retaliate, before his anxiety got the best of him, and instead he nodded, and turned his attention back to his soda.  
“Watch this, Nick.”  
Dib looked up to see the girl packing a small black pipe with what Dib assumed to be weed. She smiled at him and rose it to her lips before clicking a small handheld lighter and burning the opposite end. It smelled like fucking garbage, Dib noted, and after a second she puffed smoke from her mouth and nose as if making a real show to impress him. Then, she passed it over to Dib.  
Taking it with a shaky hand that we was attempting to mask, he held it between his middle and index finger like one would a cigarette, because he was pretty sure that would make him look cooler. It ended up being hard to balance, and he switched to an index finger-thumb grip. With all eyes on him, he slowly brought it to his lips.  
“Wrong side, bro.”  
“Oh.” Dib turned the pipe in his hands as the girl giggled.  
“I’ll light it for you. When I tell you to, just inhale. Try to hold it for a bit, then breathe out.” Dib nodded, holding the (correct) end to his mouth. She clicked the lighter again and, after a moment, nodded at him.   
Dib sucked in and immediately choked, pulling the pipe away from his face with smoke billowing from his orifices. The others laughed as he hacked, and the girl took the pipe from his hands and passed it to the boy next to him.   
“You done?”  
Dib nodded and took his soda as he stood back up. She laughed.  
“See you later, Nick. Shut that door behind you.”

Dib gave a half hearted wave before leaving, still trying to hide the urge to cough violently. As instructed, he shut the door behind him, took a sip of soda in an attempt to soothe his dry mouth, and-  
Holy shit a dog.

Dib gasped and knelt down to pet the fluffy belly presented before him. His brain fuzzy, he cried effusive praise out to the puppy.  
“Who’s a good boy? Who’s the best boy in the whole world???”  
“Me!!! I’m the good boy!!!”

Dib stopped, deadpan.  
“What the fuck.”  
“Well, look who it is!”  
Dib looked up and, oh god, someone must have laced that weed.  
“What the hell are you doing here?”

It hadn’t been that long since he’d seen Zim, he hadn’t gone to school too far from home, and he’d been back to visit just last weekend, partially to see his family, but mostly to make sure that Zim hadn’t terrorized too many of the city’s residents. Still, to see Zim at a shitty college party the one time he attended one, god was really out to get him on this one.  
He was swirling a plastic cup of some liquid in one hand, his free hand resting on his hip as he looked down at Dib with a smug look in his eyes.   
“I could ask you the same thing, Dib worm.” He replied, leaning down to pick up GIR and place him gently on his hip.  
“I’m at a college party. As college students do sometimes.” Dib stood up.  
“Well, perhaps that’s why I’m here, too.” Zim sipped his drink and weakly attempted to hide his subsequent sputtering.  
“Since when did you go to college?”  
Zim raised a claw to his lip and looked off, thinking.  
“Roughly… one hundred years ago?”  
“They call it college in space?” Dib asked, quirking an eyebrow.  
“This is not the point, FOOL!” Zim pointed a finger at Dib. “I am here to destroy you once and for all! Probably!”  
Dib rolled his eyes.  
“What’s in your cup?” He asked with sudden curiosity.  
“Oh, this?” Zim looked into the red solo cup. “I don’t know.”  
Acting on an unspoken urge, Dib grabbed the drink and downed it, as if this was a wonderful idea for a boy who did not want to be hungover the morning after a college party. Immediate regret filled his body as he scorched his throat for the second time that night with whatever searing alcohol that was in Zim’s cup. Zim laid a hand flat on his chest with his mouth agape in what would have been mock disgust if this action was performed by anybody besides drama queen Zim.   
“How COULD you??? I will remove your spleen!”  
“Put your money where your mouth is, bitch.” Dib challenged, stupidly.  
Zim pressed a hand to Dib’s shoulder, pinning him against the wall with surprising strength. Or, maybe Dib was just slightly crossfaded.   
“I thought you’d NEVER ask!”

Next to them, the door to the maybe bedroom opened, which was quite possibly hot boxed at this point, and the girl and three boys sauntered out.   
“Oh, Nick,” The girl looked over at Dib, “the bedroom is yours.” She winked.  
“Ah, thank you, kind human lady, for lending us your Fight Space!” Zim cried, and swiftly pulled Dib into the room, dropping GIR to the ground in the flurry.

Door shut behind them, Zim resumed to pinning a very flustered and confused Dib to the wall.  
“Insolent fool boy! I will destroy you!”  
“You’ve been threatening that since childhood!”  
“I have not finished!”  
“Shut the fuck up, Zim.”  
Zim looked at him with narrowed eyes.  
“Make me.”

As if there was more than one way for Dib to respond to that.

Dib grabbed Zim by the collar, and their teeth crashed together for a moment, before both were thoughtlessly moving in an unspoken language. Zim’s mouth tasted heavily of vodka, and in the back of his mind, Dib wondered how much he’d drank. Zim pressed him harder against the wall, and Dib weakly repressed the urge to moan in response, and licked gently at his lips. When Dib broke for air, Zim whimpered very quietly before shifting to bite harshly at Dib’s neck. Dib hissed with pleasure and subconsciously pulled his shirt aside to open the skin on his shoulder to Zim’s teeth. Zim responded exactly how he’d hoped, before Dib leaned down to sloppily kiss him again, and Zim broke a moan when Dib bit his lip. Panting, Dib broke away again and picked up a very light and flustered Zim before dropping him gently on the mattress.  
Dib grabbed the hem of his own shirt, standing over Zim, before looking down at him with half lidded eyes, looking for approval.  
Zim was tossing off his wig haphazardly, and he frowned.  
“Go, before I decide to actually remove your spleen.”  
Taking this as permission, Dib removed his shirt after a short struggle, leaving his binder on for comfort, and because he didn’t think he’d been able to take it off, being as inebriated as he was. Then, he proceeded to fumble with Zim’s shirt as Zim removed his contacts delicately, and after a bit of a longer struggle, it was lying on the floor next to Dib’s. Dib leaned down to straddle the boy beneath him, and returned an earlier favor with a harsh bite to Zim’s collar bone. Sharp claws dug into the skin of Dib’s back. 

Time fades, Dib doesn’t remember much after long enough. Very vaguely, he remembers drifting off in a small pair of arms. 

\---

Dib comes to with a raging headache, and without arms holding him. His eyes slowly open to a foreign ceiling, and he raises a hand to his pounding head. Sitting up, he realizes a few things; one, he is on the floor. Two, Zim is lying asleep across from him, also on the floor. Three, there is no mattress. Four, they were both wearing foreign clothing, and five, they were definitely not where they fell asleep the night before.  
Dib crawled over to Zim on his knees.  
“Zim, wake up.”  
He shakes Zim’s shoulders, and after a moment, Zim shifts.  
“Leave me alone, worm boy.” He grumbles.  
“Zim, seriously, wake the fuck up.”  
Zim finally groans and sits up, rubs his eyes, before he opens them and freezes.

“Oh, shit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter lol I'm posting the third right now because i relish in not having a proper update schedule and just vomiting impromptu chapters into the world

The conditions were explained to them by a very burly irken carrying some sort of foreign spear weapon, who was pointing said weapon very threateningly towards the both of them. One meal for Dib per day -they were not used to having prisoners that needed feeding-, frequent searches by the guards, and daily rigorous work that they would be escorted to at a time presented in a measurement that Dib was not familiar with. After this, they were assured that The Almighty Tallests would see them as soon as they had a schedule opening. Dib was sure that this is not meant to be reassurance.

Zim, on the other hand, was rather convinced that The Tallests simply wanted to reward him for his “wonderful” work on earth.  
“Not quite sure why they brought you along, though.”  
Dib pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.  
“If they wanted to reward you, why would they put you in space prison.” He said, sitting in the opposite corner of their shared cell.  
“Oh, sweet innocent human boy. You simply could not comprehend the genius of the Tallests. The Massive has hardly any room for new passengers, this is the only place they could keep me!” Zim replied.  
“The Massive?”  
Zim scoffed.  
“The ship that we’re on, imbecile.” He said, buffing his nails on his prison shirt. Note the word prison. Because they’re definitely in prison. As prisoners.  
“I cannot fucking believe you got me mixed up in this.” Dib said, rolling his eyes.  
“Me??? You’re the one who started it with…eh...” Zim faltered.  
“What does that have to do with anything???” Dib shouted, ears growing red.  
“SILENCE!!!” Zim’s voice cracked. 

A resounding “thump” resulting from one of the guards banging the blunt end of their spear on the ground saved Zim from whatever god awful thing he was about to say, and the boys turned their attention to the irken standing outside their cell.  
“The Almighty Tallests will see you both now.”  
Feeling relieved, because he would certainly sooner face Zim’s annoying and also slightly terrifying alien overlords than have that conversation, Dib stood up as the guard slowly unlocked their cell door. Pointing the spear out at the both of them, he ushered the two out into the hallway where their cell was placed, standing behind them with the spear at the ready in case of an escape attempt. In a language that Dib did not understand, presumably irken, the guard called out to another very spear wielding irken, who stepped in front of them, and Dib assumed that this second irken would be leading them to wherever they were going.  
They began marching, the irken behind them poking Dib in the back whenever he felt that Dib was going too slow, and suddenly the nerves began to set in. Up until now Dib had kind of been in a stupor about the whole situation, and, after all, it’s not as if he hadn’t been mixed up in some ridiculous alien shit before, but walking down the long sterile hallways, lined with technology and aliens working there that seemed they would sooner kill Dib than learn his name, he wondered now- was he going to die? 

Zim, on the other hand, seemed delightfully ignorant, and almost slightly giddy. Dib loathed that for some reason, and he had the urge to tackle Zim now simply because it made him so mad that the both of them could die in the next twenty minutes and Zim was just too stupid to realize it. 

Eventually they reached the end of a particularly long and ominous hallway, where a great big door sat threateningly. One irken pressed a three fingered hand to a hand shaped indent next to the door and a whirring echoed through the hall as it slid open slowly. The other irken pushed the both of them into the room and shut the door behind them, leaving them alone.  
Dib assumed this to be something of a throne room; it was well decorated with wires and glowing technology in every corner, as well as with discarded junk food wrappers. His steps echoed on the hollow metal floors.  
“Where are they?” Dib turned and whispered to Zim.

As if on cue, the lights went out and were swiftly replaced with laser lights dancing around the room, and one large pink colored spotlight in the center of the room. Fog drifted around their feet, emitted from unseen fog machines, and Dib winced when horribly loud bass boosted irken music filled the room. From the ceiling in the center of the room descended a platform, on which the two tall aliens were standing, waving their hands as if they were little girls in princess dresses on a parade float.  
They reached the floor and everything ceased, the lights came back up and Zim stepped forward enthusiastically.  
“Ah, my Tallests! Always two for making an entrance! It’s wonderful to see you again, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Silence was held in the air for a second as Dib watched the Tallests’ faces contort as they tried desperately to hold in laughter, before they could not stop it any longer and burst into a fit of cackling and giggling. Dib wanted to kick Zim in the shins and tell him to start begging for their lives.  
When they finally finished they were wiping away tears, bent over, and they looked at Zim again.  
“Oh, Zim. Zim, Zim, Zim. And- what’s this guy’s name? This human boy over here?” Purple pointed to Dib.  
“I-uh- I’m Dib.” Dib replied, feeling awfully awkward and also very afraid.   
“Right, okay, human Dib. Anyway-“ Purple began chucking again- “Woo! Sorry, just can’t get over it!”  
“Anyway,” interrupted Red, also still smiling, “ We had something that we wanted to tell you, Zim, about your mission. We were going to send you a transmission, but you didn’t answer.”  
“Which was weird! You’ve never missed one of those!” Purple added.  
“So, like, we were wondering if you died or something-“ Red continued.  
“Not that we cared,”  
“Right, just curious really.”  
“More hopeful, I would say.”  
“The point is,” Red said, “we sent someone over to check on you, and we found you, with him.”  
The Tallest pointed a claw at Dib, who wanted to melt into the floor more than anything at this.

Zim hesitated. He seemed to be processing a lot, his loose excitement from earlier had disappeared, and he now moved slowly to stand up straight, legs shoulder width apart, his arms folded behind his back.  
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”  
The Tallests only laughed again.  
“We were right all along! You are defective! Not only that, but you know how illegal and wrong it is, don’t you?”  
“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Zim was trembling now, and they only laughed more.  
“Man, this is awesome. We can finally get rid of him now! We have to get rid of him, by law!”  
Red and Purple shared a high five.  
“Oh hey, what do we do with human boy?” Purple asked.  
“Eh, kill him too. He tainted our race.” Red shrugged.  
“Well, alright!”  
The two stepped backwards onto the platform.  
“Congratulations, human boy, on meeting the Almighty Tallests before your death!” Purple shouted. The platform began to rise again.  
“See you on execution day!”

The two guards emerged again to drag Zim and Dib’s trembling frozen bodies back to their cell.


	3. Chapter 3

“Zim.”

Silence from the other boy curled up in a ball on the opposite side of the prison cell.  
“Zim,” Dib reached out a hand, only to gain a hiss and slap from Zim in response.  
“Don’t touch me.” He growled, not looking up.  
“Zim, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on. I deserve to know what we’re getting punished for if they’re really- if they’re really going to-”  
“Shut UP!” Zim shouted, and Dib was mildly surprised that Zim wasn’t attacking him physically yet.  
“YOU shut up! Unless it’s to tell me what the hell-” Dib yelped and jumped to cover his ears when a gunshot echoed through the chamber.  
On the other side of the bars, gun bearing arm still outstretched at a frying section of the wall, stood an irken, perhaps smaller, and certainly stouter, than Zim, wearing what Dib recognized to be a common invader uniform. He spun the laser gun in his hand and swiftly placed it back in the holster on his waist in one clean motion.

“The intercom and microphone fry often enough that it won’t raise suspicion.” He said.

“Skoodge…” Dib said slowly, “right?”  
Skoodge nodded.  
“We have to be quick here. I’m going to get you two out of here, on one condition.”  
“What is it?” Dib asked with eagerness.   
Skoodge threw his hands onto his hips with great pride and excitement, chest thrust forward, a great smile spreading across his face.  
“You both join the resistance against the Tallests and the oppressive Irken Empire!”  
Dib nodded aggressively.  
“Yeah, of course! You save our lives, certainly, we’d be willing to help…” Dib looked over to Zim, who was still silently curled up into the fetal position.  
“Zim?”  
“I would rather die with my honor.” He said, solemnly.   
Dib made nervous eye contact with Skoodge, who shrugged.  
“We only have so much time.”  
Dib turned his attention to Zim and scooted just slightly closer.  
“Zim, giving up isn’t dying with your honor. If you don’t get up off your ass and help me   
here, I will end you in the least honorable way possible.”  
Zim looked up for the first time, simply to give Dib the finger.  
“Come the fuck on,” Dib said, “I can’t get out of here without your help. You owe it to me  
to get me out of this mess, if nothing else.”  
Still, Zim said nothing. Dib sighed.  
“What about everything at home? What about GIR? Your base? Don’t you care about them? Won’t you miss them?”   
Zim snapped.  
“THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE KILLING ME FOR, YOU DUMB BASTARD! I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS.”   
Dib, eyes the size of dinner plates, took a deep breath before trying to approach Zim again.  
“Alright… then, do it out of… spite. Do it because you’re angry and it’s not fair.” He said.  
“Stop telling me what to do, worm boy.” Zim curled back up.  
Dib opened his mouth to reply, brows furrowed, and shut it again promptly. He thought for a moment to himself. Skoodge looked at him nervously, a silent way to tell Dib to hurry up, they were short on time.  
“Then… then you tell me what to do. You know this ship better than I do. Tell me what to do to get out of here, and I’ll do it.”  
Zim looked up with poorly hidden curiosity.   
“You’ll do anything I tell you to.” He said. Dib nodded.  
“And you promise that. Anything?” Dib nodded again, although reluctantly. Zim looked slowly between Skoodge and Dib.

“Deal.”  
“Yes!” Dib pumped a fist in the air. “So, what’s the plan?”  
“Well,” Skoodge began, “I work here, sorta, and I can probably arrange for me to be your escort to the, uh… the execution. But, in order for us to actually escape, we need a ship, and a fast one at that.”  
“I know where they keep the escape pods-” Zim started, before Skoodge shook his head.  
“That won’t do. They’ll be after us, and those pods aren’t fast enough.”  
“You didn’t let me finish, Skoodge.” Zim said, crossing his arms. “You’re right, the escape pods aren’t fast. However, fortunately for both of you, I used to be a ship engineer.”  
“Really?” Asked Dib, mildly impressed.  
“I… highly doubt that’s true, but go on.” Skoodge said.  
“I just need a few materials and an extra pair of hands, and I can reprogram one of those pods to match the speed of The Massive itself.”  
Dib excitedly raised his hand.  
“Can I be the extra pair of hands?” He said. Zim groaned.  
“Fine, you can be the extra pair of sweaty hands, but not because you want to. Because I told you to.”  
“That works for me.” Dib replied.  
“What will you need? I’ll see if I can get it for you.” Skoodge said, and Dib immediately felt a pain developing in his head when Zim replied with a list of things that were definitely not things Dib recognized, or english words at all.   
“Got it,” Skoodge replied, “shouldn’t be too difficult.”  
“Are you sure? Some of that is pretty high class stuff.” Zim replied. It was odd, Dib thought, to hear Zim having an almost intelligent and fairly calm discussion with Skoodge.  
“I’ll be fine. I’m pretty high level for my height here. Besides, this ship has got so much of everything that they’ll hardly miss anything if we take just a little bit.”  
Zim nodded. He seemed awfully calm for somebody escaping his own execution. Dib, meanwhile, was feeling an awful concoction of fear, excitement, anxiety, and probably a couple other things that he wasn’t going to acknowledge, and he felt a little bit like throwing up. 

“I’ll come for both of you in two days. The escape pods are right on the way to the execution room. If we’re lucky, nobody will be in there. You two will have to hurry with the modifications.” Skoodge said, looking between the both of them. “Got it?”  
“I will see you in two days, Skoodge.” Zim said, nodding. Skoodge turned his attention to Dib.  
“Got it, Dib?”  
Dib cleared his throat.  
“Yes- yeah, I’ve got it. It’s a plan.” 

\---

The sound of irken chatter and jeering coming from both sides of Dib and Zim was driving Dib slowly insane. Despite having experienced excessive cruelty from his peers when he was younger, it had never been like this, and even though he knew much better than to be actually offended, he couldn’t help but squirm. Zim, on the other hand, remained completely unperturbed by this, much to Dib’s surprise. In most other situations he would be screaming back at his bullies, even when said bully was ten times his size. The little fucker was ballsy in high school, and he got his ass beat a lot. But now, he remained calm and collected, head held high, looking only ahead. Perhaps he truly understood the gravity of the situation.   
Beyond a certain point it seemed that the common crew members of the ship were no longer allowed to follow them and yell out whatever derogatory terms they had been yelling, and he, Zim, and Skoodge were all alone in a large echoey room. Doors lie on the walls to the left and right of Dib, and one large main one in front of him, and Dib assumed that the next room wasn’t quite the execution room yet, judging by the lack of guards in the room. Skoodge stopped them silently, grabbing onto both of their collars. Zim shook his hand off, mildly annoyed, but still quiet.  
Skoodge took a laser gun into his hand, the same one he had been carrying two days prior, and aimed it slowly towards a camera positioned on the wall. After giving the two boys a small nod, with a bang and a pull of the trigger the security camera was smoking on the wall.  
“Quickly, hold out your arms.”  
Both obeyed, holding out their cuffed wrists, and Skoodge shot the chain linking Zim’s cuffs quickly and flawlessly. Zim seemed unfazed by this, and Dib idly wondered how many times he had been someone’s prisoner.   
Dib shut his eyes tightly and flinched when Skoodge shot his own apart, horrified at the idea of accidentally moving and having his hand shot off, and was pleased to find all of his limbs intact and his handcuffs broken when he opened his eyes.  
“Hurry. Guards will be here soon.” Skoodge ushered them through the rightmost door, through which lied a sleek pink and silver escape pod. The control looked similar enough to Tak’s ship, and Dib internally thanked his lucky stars for this.  
Meanwhile, Skoodge was pulling foreign tools and materials from his Pak as Zim rushed over to the control, already starting to take it apart.  
“Dib, get over here.”   
“Right.”  
Dib watched curiously over Zim’s shoulder as he worked inside a mess of wires and flashing lights.  
“Skoodge, hand me the shift modulator, give Dib the scissors.”  
Holding the tool Skoodge had given him, Zim pried out another panel, revealing more wires and blinking lights.  
“Cut the red wires down there, the ones connecting to that core.” Zim instructed.  
“This glowy thing?” Dib replied, positioning his scissors. Zim grumbled.  
“Yes, the glowy thing. You’ll need to reconnect the wires to the Caeliter Pugnar-”  
“Zim, I don’t speak Irken-”  
“Skoodge, just give him the Caeliter Pugnar.”  
Skoodge handed Dib a small foreign ball that was much heavier than it appeared, and Dib noticed three ports for connecting something to, almost like USB ports, and Skoodge proceeded to hand him a few metal plugs. Choosing those that looked closest to a USB stick, he attached three roughly to the left over red wires, using his scissors to tighten the metal around the wires. Hopefully there was enough connection to get the electricity through. He plugged each wire into its respective port on the foreign ball, and was pleasantly surprised when it started glowing with a gentle whirr.   
“Nice job, Dib!” Skoodge said, and Dib turned around, smiling. Skoodge raised his hand for a high five, and with mild surprise that irkens did that too, Dib returned it.  
“Yes, yes, hurry up and get over here. I need you to hold this while I weld these pieces together.” Zim said dismissively, not looking up from his work. Dib obliged and stood up to hold what vaguely resembled a hard drive as Zim used a strange tool to melt the metal of another piece onto it. Chest pressed against Zim’s back, their hands awfully close to each other, Dib was reminded for the first time since the minutes before their execution was announced of that night at the party. He looked down at Zim, wondering if he might be thinking the same, and saw focus weaved into his expression. Dib swore he’d never seen Zim so quiet and focused, never seen him care so much about something. He supposes that it’s fair, after all, his life rides on it. Dib thinks for a small moment that Zim may be pressing his body back against Dib’s, but quickly dismisses it as his imagination. Not realizing he had been still looking at Zim, he jumped when Zim made quick eye contact back, before both of them looked away, frantically trying to focus their eyes anywhere but on each other’s faces.  
“Are you two almost done? I think I hear somebody coming.” Skoodge said, standing with his antennae pressed against the door.  
“Shit- Zim, is it done?”  
“It just needs to dry- is everything plugged in down there?” Zim replied frantically. Dib nodded.  
“You better hope that you did that right, Dib stink.”  
“I did! I-”  
“Both of you, shut up!” Skoodge commanded, still listening through the door. 

Faint irken chatter echoed from behind the door, and Zim and Dib froze, eyes wide. Skoodge stood on his toes, trying best he could to see through the small window on the door. Upon noticing this, Zim and Dib ducked down, and Dib tiptoed over to see through the window.  
Outside, two burly irken guards stood, chatting amongst themselves. They turned to the leftmost wall and looked into one of the pods- Dib assumed they were being searched for. They seemed to be taking their time, but even if they weren’t being searched for, the guards would eventually check their pod. His heartbeat quickened, pounding against his ribcage. He turned to whisper to Zim.  
“Is that thing done yet?”  
“It has to dry!” Zim hissed.  
“It better dry fast,” Dib turned to look back out through the window, “they’re looking in the pods.”  
The guards came out of the second pod laughing- they seemed to take their job awfully lightly. They weren’t paying much attention, but Dib’s anxiety shot through the roof when they started approaching their pod.  
“Zim, we have to go now.” He said, not looking away.  
“But-”  
The guards caught sight of Dib and began to hurry over.  
“NOW!”

Dib was flung against the door when the ship thrust forward. Hands outstretched, reaching for the door, both guards were left in the open air lock and swept into the cold embrace of space.  
After a moment of processing, Dib looked out to see stars zooming past them, and then saw Zim, frantically piloting their ship, and a smile spread across his face.  
“We did it! Zim, we did it!” He shouted, still pressed against the wall, and he pulled Skoodge up into his arms in his joy.  
“Of course we did it! I TOLD YOU ALL THAT I COULD DO IT!!!” Zim shouted back.  
“Don’t celebrate just yet. They’re after us.” Skoodge pointed out the window, where two ships were quickly chasing after them.  
“Aw, shit. Does this thing have, like, lasers or something?” Dib said.  
“It does if you plugged that in correctly. Get over here and man the gun, smelly boy.”  
Dib’s eyes sparkled.  
“You mean I get to be your co-pilot?” He said, squeezing Skoodge excitedly. Skoodge squeaked in his arms.  
“If you get your ass over here before they shoot us to death!” Zim yelled, and suddenly the wall of the pod became the floor when he swerved to avoid the shot of a much larger ship. Dib took this opportunity to reach the seat at which the gun lies, an odd cockpit sitting directly next to where the turn had caused Dib to fall. In the back of his mind, he wondered what caused gravity to still exist inside their escape pod.  
Hands shaking, he looked down to the control, plastered in foreign language and flashing buttons and buzzers, and licked his lips nervously. Urging himself to look at the gun as nothing more than an arcade machine gun, he adjusted his glasses and took aim at a ship flying across the way. He squinted, somewhere in the back of his consciousness Zim was screaming at him to take the shot, aimed just in front of the ship’s path, and pulled what he hoped was the trigger.

A long pink laser shot from the tip of the gun that stuck outside the ship and into space so quickly that it could have given somebody whiplash and exploded upon impact with the front of the opposing ship.  
“AHA!” Zim shouted with absolute relish, as if he was the one that landed the shot.  
“Dib, you’re a natural!” Skoodge cried from the back of the ship.  
“HA HA! I’m like SPACE ROBIN HOOD!” Dib yelled, lining up to take his second shot. The wing of a second ship was destroyed accordingly.   
“This is like STAR WARS!”  
“Skoodge, where are we headed???” Zim shouted, violently weaving the ship around a combination of asteroids and opposing ships.  
“Oh, into the Ambit Strip-”  
“Get over here and enter the location!!!”  
Skoodge scurried over, doing his best to resist the twisting and turning of the ship, and began to dial something into a holographic screen hovering above the dashboard.  
“Dib, are we clear?” Zim asked.  
“In the front?” Dib shot a third ship. “We are now!”  
“Into HYPERSPAAACE!” Zim shouted, finger hovering above a glowing button.   
Before Dib had the chance to question this, Zim had pulled them full thrust, bounding into space. Dib felt like every single one of his organs were melting into his body, his brain pressed hard against the back of his skull, and if he had the capacity for any thoughts at this point, he would be desperately hoping that he wasn’t going to get a severe concussion from this.

Miraculously, when the ship came to a sudden slowness and Dib was thrust forward at the suddenness, his brain was perfectly intact, or, at least, as much as it always was. As much as he hated to be without his binder, he was almost glad that the irkens had removed it from him before jailing him, because he was almost certain that he would have suffocated in it by this point. Suddenly, Skoodge clasped him on the shoulder with a three fingered hand.  
“Man! You two are gonna be great additions to the resistance!” Dib looked over to see Skoodge’s other hand on Zim’s shoulder.  
“Don’t feed his ego, Skoodge.” Dib replied, almost playfully.  
“You two make a FANTASTIC team.”   
Both Dib and Zim were taken aback by this, and after a second of flustered silence, the air was filled with bashful protests.  
“We’re not… we’re not a TEAM-”  
“Absolutely not!!!”  
“It’s not like we do this all the time or anything-”  
“MY teammate is-”  
“His teammate is GIR!”  
“He’s my usual co-pilot-”  
“Because, like, we don’t-”  
“Work together well-”  
“AT ALL.” They finished in synchronicity. Zim crossed his arms with an air of confidence that directly contrasted the irken blood rushing to his face. Skoodge patted them both on the shoulders, giggling slightly.  
“Alright,” he said, “Whatever you say.”  
“What are we here for anyway?” Dib asked, desperately trying to change the subject. Skoodge smiled and pointed out the front window.

Outside, floating in such a way that it was both ominous and comforting, sat a large, sleek, white ship, bright aqua blue lights gleaming nearly as bright as the stars in Dib’s eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Still discombobulated and embarrassed from having been pushed violently through space at hyper speeds, beamed up into the ship, and then throwing up afterwards, Dib followed Skoodge down the hallways of the Resisty ship with Zim at his side. Zim was looking around, brow furrowed.  
“This isn’t the same ship that-”  
“Hah, no.” Skoodge replied. “It wasn’t well equipped enough to take on the Massive, remember? Anyway, this is a different Vortian ship. We’re trying to make modifications to it at the moment.”  
Skoodge turned around and smiled.  
“Maybe you two could help with that.”  
“Well, of course I could.” Zim said, hand pressed to his chest confidently.  
They turned a corner and were met with a large room surrounded by windows on three sides, space glowing through what Dib assumed to be much stronger than glass. Cafeteria style tables lined the place.  
“This is the dining hall,” Skoodge said, “for anyone on board that needs to eat. You’ll hear the buzzer go off when it’s time for the next meal.”  
“Skoodge, where are we going?” Dib asked, noting Skoodge’s previous statement as well.  
“I’m taking you to Lard Nar. He’s still technically first in command, and we have to bring new recruits to him.” He turned to Zim. “He’s not too fond of irkens, I’ll warn you. Rightfully so, but you should just be… you know…”  
“I’ll be whatever I want to be Skoodge.” Zim replied, crossing his arms.  
“Just be quiet when we go in there.” Dib said, rolling his eyes.  
“You can’t tell me what to do! I tell you what to do!!!” Zim shouted, pointing a claw at Dib.  
“What if you tell me to tell you not to say anything?” Dib said.  
Zim thought for a moment, bringing his hand to his chin.  
“Fine. Tell me not to say anything, Dib stink.” Zim replied with confidence, as if it had all been his idea. Dib stifled a laugh.  
“Don’t say anything, Zim.”  
“Good! We’re all square then! Skoodge, lead the way!” Zim gestured with a sweeping motion down the next hallway. After exchanging an entertained glance with Dib, Skoodge obliged. 

Eventually they reached a grand looking door, through which Dib assumed was the helm of the ship, and this Lard Nar that they were meeting with. Skoodge walked up to the door and pressed his hand to a pad on the wall beside it, and the door slid open. Skoodge motioned for them to follow.  
He stopped behind a chair facing opposite them, and Zim and Dib hesitated behind him, unsure of what the proper etiquette for being initiated into an illegal resistance group was. Skoodge salluted suddenly, and Zim and Dib shared a glance, both wondering if they should do the same.  
“Lard Nar,” Skoodge said, “I have brought the new recruits.”  
The chair spun around to reveal a small Vortain, engulfed in the massive size of the chair, that Dib assumed was Lard Nar. He looked them over carefully, and Dib felt his gaze burning into his body, and he was suddenly very uncomfortable and sweaty.  
“An irken and… I’m sorry, this other one?” Lard Nar said, motioning at Dib.  
“I’m, ah-” Dib’s voice cracked, “I’m a human.”  
“An irken and a human.” Lard Nar folded his hands together. “It is always... helpful for us to have more irkens behind us. I’ve never heard of humans before, but we are still grateful to have your help. Has the Irken Empire taken your planet as well?”  
“Not quite.” Dib replied, trying, again, not to laugh. Lard Nar looked away for a moment in thought, and Zim elbowed Dib perhaps a little too hard, enough that Dib had to try and keep his composure when Lard Nar looked back to them.  
“What are your names?”  
“I’m Dib,” Dib said, “And this is Zim.”  
Lard Nar clapped his hands together.  
“Oh! You two, I know you both! Zim, who took control of The Massive, allowing us an opening for attack! And then you both were recently arrested for crimes against the Irken empire. You two have got exactly the rebellious spunk we need on the team.” He cried, suddenly very excited. Dib refrained from telling him about Zim’s actual intentions when he took control of The Massive those years ago.  
“They make a fantastic team on a fighter as well.” Skoodge added. Zim and Dib both flinched at being called a team again.  
“Well, welcome to the team, Zim and Dib. There’s an empty two bunk room down in A-12, number 1526. Skoodge, would you take them there?” Lard Nar looked suddenly awfully pleased.  
“Yes, sir.” Skoodge salluted once again, and ushered Zim and Dib out of the room. The door slid closed, and Dib immediately began giggling.  
“Shut up!” Zim slapped Dib’s shoulder and crossed his arms bitterly.  
“I’m sorry, it's just funny!” Dib said between laughter. Skoodge watched this with slight amusement.  
“Come on, you two.” He said, motioning for them to follow, “I’ll show you to your room.”

Zim and Dib followed Skoodge down another long hallway until they reached a dead ended hallway with doors lining both sides. Skoodge led them to the final door.  
“Here, both of you put your hands on these so the room can register you.” He motioned towards two pads similar to the one on the door to the ship’s helm. Zim and Dib obliged, and the door made a clicking noise before sliding open. Inside sat a single bunk bed in a rather drab silver room, a single circular window resembling that of a cartoony submarine window sitting on the wall, closest to the bottom bunk. There was a chest sitting at the foot of the bed that seemed to have some sort of electrical lock on it, presumably for Zim and Dib to store their belongings, which he realized, much to his dismay, that they had none of.  
“I call the top bunk!!!” Zim yelled, immediately scrambling over and trying desperately to climb onto the top bunk without use of the ladder. Dib rolled his eyes and reluctantly helped him up, realizing that he would probably have to do that every night from now on.  
Otherwise, he wasn’t bothered by having the bottom bunk. Zim would probably be much less likely to hit his head on the ceiling up there anyway, being short as he was. Dib, on the other hand, was glad to avoid more injuries to his head than he has already endured.  
“The bathrooms are down the hall to the right. The showers are right next to them.” Skoodge said, standing in the doorway. Dib turned to him, excited.  
“Showers? Like, with water?”  
“Um, sort of?” Skoodge replied. “We use a variant of H2O that’s not poisonous to some of the members on board. It will serve the same purpose, though.”  
“Is it drinkable?” Dib asked.  
“Oh, yeah, it is. It’s the same stuff we use in the dining hall. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. The Resisty’s food and drink problems are behind us.” Skoodge smiled at Dib.  
“Well! We usually give new recruits a day or two to get used to things before we put them to work. The highest pitched buzzer indicates first meal, and they go down in pitch from there, if that makes any sense to you.”  
“Thank you, Skoodge.” Dib replied. “It was really great of you to help us out.”  
“Aw, shucks.” Skoodge waved a hand dismissively, as if to say it was nothing.  
“Really, you saved our lives.” Dib turned to look at Zim, who was twiddling his thumbs on the top bunk. “Right, Zim?”  
Zim looked up suddenly, as if he was surprised to be acknowledged.  
“Eh… um, yes, not that I couldn’t have escaped on my own!” Zim began, “...but it is at least appreciated, Skoodge.”  
Figuring that was the best he was going to get, Skoodge nodded.  
“I’ll see you both at next meal.”  
With that, he stepped out of the room, and the door slid shut.

Alone with Zim for the first time since their escape, Dib felt slightly awkward. Silence hung in the air as Zim tried to distract himself by playing with his hands, and Dib slowly sat down on the floor and began to do the same. After a few painfully quiet moments, Zim huffed.  
“Zim is BORED!” He shouted, dramatically crossing his arms.  
“You really want to do things right now?” Dib asked. “We just escaped prison. Don’t you wanna, like, relax or something?”  
“I have never relaxed in my life, Dib smell, and I’m not about to start.” Zim replied, pointing down at Dib.  
“What about, like, sleeping?”  
“I don’t need to do that, stupid.”  
Dib’s eyes lit up with curiosity.  
“Really? Why not?” He said.  
Zim pointed to his PAK.  
“My PAK gives me all the energy I’d need.”  
“So, you don’t need to eat either?” Dib asked.  
“No,” Zim shook his head, “but we like to sometimes.”  
“Oh.” Dib replied. “That’s cool.”  
“Yes,” Zim said, as if he suddenly realized that it was, in fact, cool, “yes, it is cool! I am very cool!”  
Dib snorted and flopped over on his back. Zim made a small disgusted grumble.  
“Your disgusting underbelly is showing, Dib.”  
Dib looked over at his stomach to see that his shirt had ridden up just slightly when he lied down to reveal a small sliver of skin. He didn’t figure it was anything strange, until Zim said,  
“Where’s that tank top you’re always wearing?”  
“Oh,” Dib suddenly felt very uncomfortable, “you mean my binder?”  
“Well I don’t know what it’s called.” Zim replied, looking down at him.  
“It’s called a binder.” Dib said. “I assume they took it when they put us in this clothing.”  
“What does it do?” Zim asked, his tone heavily incredulous.  
“It binds my chest. Makes it flat, basically.” Dib answered. Usually, he was fully prepared to answer these types of questions when cis humans asked them, but when it was Zim, who had absolutely zero understanding of human anatomy, was another story.  
“Why would you do that? Do all flat chested humans do that? Doesn’t it hurt?” Zim asked, questions flying from his mouth.  
“Yeah, it does hurt,” Dib said, “sometimes, anyway. It’s a trans thing, though.”  
“Trans?”  
Dib sighed.  
“You know, like, when someone is born and they say they’re a girl or a boy but they’re actually not.” This was possibly worse than any conversation he’d had with any uneducated cis person ever.  
“Oh, you mean Phēsiluš?” Zim spoke in a language that Dib did not understand.  
“If that’s what you call it in irken, then yeah.” Dib replied, relieved that they had a word for it.  
“Yes, that’s very common on Irk.” Zim replied in that nonchalant explanatory yet still narcissistic tone that Zim used nearly every time he explained anything to anybody. “But none of us have to make modifications that severe. If we do make any modifications, we do so very early on in our lives. None of us have ever waited as long as you have to get something removed or changed.”  
Dib shrugged.  
“Earth just isn’t as cool about it, I guess.”  
“You know, I studied surgeries briefly when I was younger. Maybe I could do something about it…” As Zim stroked his chin in thought, he extended a single leg from his PAK as if to show Dib exactly what tools he’d be using. Dib furrowed his brow.  
“I’m actually not sure if that would be better or worse than the current situation.” He said, eyes fixed on the mechanical leg.  
“What, you don’t trust me?” The leg turned with Zim as he looked down at Dib again.  
“No, Zim, quite frankly I do not trust you to perform surgery on me.” Zim crosses his arms and the leg returned to his PAK.  
“No matter. It would be nasty anyway. I’m sure there’s a medical professional on board that could do it for you, though.”  
Dib quirked an eyebrow, suddenly realizing the nature of the conversation. He smirked, some place in the back of his mind enjoyed teasing Zim an awful lot.  
“Zim, why do you care so much about it?”  
Zim blinked.  
“I don’t,” he said, looking away, “I was just saying.”  
Dib wanted both to laugh and cry at this, because he was remembering the night that started this, and wondering if that had anything to do with the way Zim was acting, and the excitement, fear, and general confusion he was feeling because of these thoughts all wanted Dib to have contradicting physical responses.  
Thinking of this, though, Dib began to wonder what about that night had brought them to where they ended up. After all, Zim hadn’t ever explained the reason for their sentencing. Was irken sex illegal? If it was, and worthy of a death sentence, why did Zim give Dib express permission? Dib supposed that Zim may have been a little drunk, but then again he wasn’t sure that Zim had actually drank any of the alcohol that was in his cup. The word “defect” echoed through his mind, remembering it as something that had come out of one of the Tallests’ mouths, and then remembered a couple of words that Zim had shouted at him directly after their sentence, “I’m not supposed to feel,” and Dib began to think that perhaps the sex wasn’t what was illegal itself, but… Dib wanted to throw up just a little, because he was very unsure about how he felt about that.  
Desperate to change his mind subject, he spoke to Zim again.  
“Do you think they’re looking for us right now?”  
Zim shrugged, not looking at Dib.  
“Probably.”  
“How long do you think they’ll keep looking?”  
“Until they find us.” Zim looked over at Dib, who was looking at the ceiling, hands behind his head.  
“Come on, we can’t be that important to them. I mean, they were gonna kill us anyway. Why waste so much energy on two randos like that?”  
“Because we could end up doing things like this. They know how INCREDIBLE I am, Dib. Besides,” Zim turned to look at the wall across from him, “it wasn’t any small offense.”  
Dib looked up at Zim, who seemed almost somber now. He dared not ask what the offense was, dared not confirm his suspicions and actually have to face whatever it made him feel. Besides, Zim would never admit it. Instead, he opted to change the subject again.

“I’m exhausted.” He said, starting to sit up. “I should probably actually get in the bed.”  
“It won’t be much more comfortable than the floor.” Zim grumbled, patting his own mattress as if to show himself what he meant.  
Regardless, Dib climbed into the bed with utter joy, relieved to sleep in a bed for the first time in perhaps a week rather than on a cold prison floor.  
“You’re not going to fall asleep, are you?” Zim said, as if Dib sleeping was the greatest crime against Zim he could ever commit.  
“Yes, I am going to sleep, because I’m human and I need to sleep.” Dib replied flatly.  
“Ugh,” Zim groaned, “Fine, then. Suit yourself.”  
Dib rolled his eyes and pulled the covers over his body, hardly minding the fact that he was still fully clothed.

He slept more soundly than he had slept in months for the hours that his sleep lasted.

—-

Dib woke up to the sound of a high pitched buzzing resonating through the room, and nearly fell off the bed when he did.  
“Oh, look who’s finally awake.” Zim said from his bunk. “Do you have any idea how bored Zim was?”  
“That’s really the least of my worries, Zim.” Dib climbed out of bed, tossing the covers aside. “I suppose that means it’s time to eat.”  
Dib suddenly realized that he was incredibly hungry, and felt ecstatic at the idea of getting food. Zim jumped off his bed and landed on all fours like a cat. Dib stifled a laugh, and Zim marched to the door.  
“Lead the way, smelly!” Zim said, pressing his hand to the pad that opened the door.  
“I don’t remember where it was-“ Dib began, before Zim cut him off, shaking a finger.  
“You have to do what I say, remember? Now, lead the way!”  
Dib sighed.  
“You can’t blame me when we get lost, then.” He walked through the door and down the hallway, Zim following behind him.  
“I probably will.” Zim replied in an almost chipper tone.  
“I figured as much.”

—-

Incredibly, they had only gotten briefly lost before they found the dining hall. Also to Dib’s relief, the dining hall functioned very similarly to that of his previous college, just with a much more diverse crowd filling it.  
Armed with a plate of very foreign food and odd looking utensils, Zim and Dib looked around quietly for a place to sit, suddenly overwhelmed with the smallness of not knowing where to sit on the first day of high school lunch period. Fortunately, Skoodge noticed this and waved them over.

Dib noted, as he and Zim sat down, that Skoodge seemed to have plenty of friends on board, as he was sitting with a great group of people, all chatting with him enthusiastically. It occured to Dib that Skoodge must had been gone for a while, serving as somewhat of a spy for The Resisty aboard The Massive. A great deal of these people seemed very happy to have him back.  
“Hey, guys!” Skoodge greeted them as they sat. “Everybody, these are the new recruits.”  
Everyone within earshot of Skoodge began to greet Zim and Dib joyfully, some in languages that Dib did not understand. Dib settled for a meek smile and a wave.  
One person in particular, who Dib thought may be Vortian, leaned forward and stuck out both his hands for the shaking. Zim and Dib took their respective hands and shook.  
“We’ve all heard about you guys and what you did. You’re both very brave.” He said, smiling. Dib, still not entirely clear on what he and Zim actually did, smiled back.  
“T-thank you,” He replied, “It’s great to be on the team.”  
“This is Ject,” Skoodge said, motioning to the smiling Vortian that had greeted them, “He manages the Fighter Ship Crew Department.”  
Ject nodded happily, seeming pleased with his position.  
“I hear that’s the department that you two will be working in!” He said.  
“Yes,” Replied Dib, “at least, that’s what Skoodge recommended.”  
“Ject, you should have seen them out there. They’re amazing.”  
Zim spoke up for the first time since sitting down.  
“Yes, damn right I am!” Zim seemed awfully happy to be genuinely praised, enough that Dib assumed he didn’t get compliments outside of the ones he directed towards himself.  
“And also me.” Dib said.  
“And also you.” Zim said, much less enthralled this time. Ject laughed.  
“In that case, because I really admire you guys, I managed to dig up some old traditional Vortian fighter garb. You can have them, if they fit.” He said casually, scooping food off his plate.  
“Oh, thank you!” Dib said, flattered by Ject’s kindness.  
“It’s no problem.” Ject replied, before scooping food into his mouth.  
This reminded Dib that he hadn’t eaten since he sat down, too concerned with his conversation with Ject. He looked down to the vaguely gelatinous pile on his plate, surrounded by foreign greens, and wondered if his body was even going to be able to process the alien food. He dug in with a utensil that was almost a spork and gave it a shot, figuring that if it did kill him, he’s die either way.  
“Oh,” He said, swallowing, “This is actually not bad.”

\---

“THIS is the most amazing outfit I have ever seen in my lifetime.” Ject laughed delightedly as Dib held the leotard up to his eyes. Shining under the bright lights of the ship, the blue shimmery leotard turned purples and pinks when the light hit it right, as did the knee high boots that came with it.  
“This is like a Freddie Mercury look!” Dib cried.  
“Dib thing, get over here and wave this thing around for me!” Zim shouted, his fist full of long red cape that dangled over his shoulders. He had already dressed himself in the outfit- a full body pink skin tight suit that seemed to be made of the same fabric as the leotard in Dib’s hands, shiny red knee high boots, and long red gloves of a similar caliber. And of course, a magnificent red cape that must be specifically for the pilot of the ship.  
“What do you need me to do that for?” Dib asked, looking over at Zim.  
“Because I need it to look cool nowgetoverhereandwaveitforme!” Zim snapped, and Dib rolled his eyes. Reluctantly putting down the leotard, Dib grabbed the cape in both hands and started waving it up and down, and it billowed magnificently behind Zim.  
“AHA! Yes, this is AMAZING!”  
Ject laughed again.  
“I’m glad you both like them so much- and it fits Zim perfectly.” He said, crossing his arms.  
“Doesn’t it? Try yours on, stinky!” Zim directed, pointing to the outfit Dib left on the floor.  
“I will, I will!” Dib replied, moving to pick up the leotard, when he gasps lightly. “These are both skin tight, aren’t they?”  
“Yes, why?” Ject said, quirking what Dib THINKS was his eyebrow. For a moment everyone is still while Dib fumbles for words, before Zim steps forward to whisper something into what Dib THINKS is Ject’s ear.  
“Really? He hasn’t had that yet?” Ject replied to... whatever Zim was saying, and turned to Dib. “We can get you set with that surgery in no time- we’ve got a professional in that field on board and she’s just absolutely listless waiting for somebody who needs that type of help. You could probably see her today, actually.”  
“Ah- Today? Like, today today?” Dib stuttered, dropping his leotard again in shock. “She can just- just do that today? Give me top surgery right now?”  
“Well, I don’t see why not.” Ject laughed. “I highly doubt she’s busy. She’d be happy to help you.”  
Dib opened and closed his mouth like a fish for a moment, making sounds that were not quite fully formed words yet, before saying, “Okay!” Delightedly.  
Ject laughed again and motioned for them to follow, and Dib folded his arms behind his back and followed cheerfully, Zim rolling his eyes and trailing behind, playing with his cape.

Ject took them down the white sterile hallways to what seemed to be the medical center- a few people sat in cots wearing masks over their orifices, some wore casts and bandages, but there weren’t too many occupants. Dib assumed The Resisty had yet to do much attacking, as Skoodge had said they were still making alterations to the ship. Ject led them down a hallway of offices and operating rooms until they finally reached a door with what looked like a sticky note in the center of it, reading “SCRUTEX”. Ject knocked three times before the door swung open with such grandeur that Dib thought Ject might fall over from the shock. Actually, he seemed quite used to this.  
In the doorway stood a woman of a species Dib didn’t recognize- she had several arms all decorated with bangles and bracelets and hands with six fingers each, all decorated with different shiny rings. Her three eyes of different colors each were smothered in a heavy coating of mascara and bright green eyeshadow that stood out strikingly on her deep purple skin and her unbelievably messy long hair was tied back with several bright colored rubber bands into a messy bun. Besides her arms, skin, and eyes, she seemed similar enough to a human, which made Dib feel a lot better about receiving surgery from her.  
“Ject!” She hollered, taking Ject into a tight many armed hug, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
“Aha, it’s good to see you as always!” Ject gave her three loud pats on the back before she released him. “I brought you a patient.”  
“Oh!” She clasped one pair of hands together excitedly. “Which one of these two?”  
“This one right here!” Ject motioned to Dib. “Dib, this is Doctor Scrutex, Doctor Scrutex, this is Dib.”  
“Wonderful to meet you Dib!” Doctor Scrutex cried, holding out each and every one of her hands for a shake. Dib decided he would just choose one and go with it.  
“It’s- it’s nice to meet you too!” Dib replied as she took tight hold of his hand and shook frantically.  
“And I am ZIM!” Zim shouted, making sure he would not be forgotten in this conversation that he was not a part of.  
“You are!” Doctor Scrutex replied as if confirming this, which made Zim smile proudly. “I know who you two are! Escaping the massive and your own deaths- very brave, both of you, wonderful strong spirits. It’s my pleasure to help you with whatever you need done.”  
“That’s great!” Dib chirped. “Will there be costs that I have to cover? I’m sure I can figure something out-”  
Doctor Scrutex guffawed, placing a hand on her chest.  
“No need to pay anything, boy. We’re all working together on this ship.” She said, sweeping them all into her office.

Inside was chaotic and disheveled, documents were strewn across her desk held down by various unfinished mugs that Dib assumed were full of something akin to coffee, circular stains left on the papers where they’d been sitting. Something that must have been some sort of computer was mounted on the wall, and Doctor Scrutex casually tapped in the corner of the screen to close out what looked like a web search on pictures of creatures wearing small top hats with one arm, and picked up a discarded mug with another.  
“Let’s see… patient Dib, what’s your species honey?” She asked over the lip of her mug, typing into some document with her other hands.  
“I’m, uh, I’m human.”  
“Human! Never heard of that one before.” Doctor Scrutex replied before taking a swig of her beverage and typing into her computer. “And what can I do for you today?”  
“Ah- my chest, it’s not- I need…” Dib faltered, and sighed. “We call it breast reduction surgery at home.”  
“Oh, hun, I’ve seen it a million times. I know just what you’re talking about, I can do that no problem. If there’s any other surgeries you need I can do those for you as well, but let’s take it one at a time, huh?”  
Dib nodded, feeling very small but also very pleased. Doctor Scrutex grinned and downed the rest of her mug.  
“I’ll put you under, you won’t feel a thing. Afterwards I’d say you should stay in bed for about three days while you heal- after that you should be ready to get up and get back to work!”  
“Only three days?” Dib replied, raising his eyebrows. Doctor Scrutex nodded.  
“I’m sorry I can’t get you up and running sooner. If we weren’t under such tight conditions it might only be the night.” She said, starting on a second mug left on her desk.  
“No, that’s fine! That’s sooner than it would be at home.” Dib said. Doctor Scrutex placed down her mug and smiled brightly.  
“Wonderful! Why don’t we head into the operating room, then?” She chirped, taking Dib by the arm.  
As far as Dib could tell, Ject and Zim hadn’t followed, and he was internally grateful that they wouldn’t have to see him being operated on, or, more importantly, shirtless. Doctor Scrutex swept him into an operating room and asked him sweetly to sit down on the table in the center of the room as she began to remove her bracelets. Dib watched as she pulled latex gloves over each and every one of her hands and retrieved a strange bottle of thick pink liquid and poured it into a small plastic cup. Filling a second cup with water, she sashayed over and handed him first the pink one.  
“Not the most delightful taste, but it’ll do its job. Shoot it back, honey!” She said, beaming at him. Dib obliged, taking the cup into his fingers gently, and looked at it for a short moment before plugging his nose and downing it before he had another second to think about it.  
It was unbelievably bitter and pungent, and it burned the back of his throat as it went down. Dib idly remembered downing Zim’s cup of vodka at the party. Making a face that he was sure was akin to a baby trying a lemon, he placed the empty cup down as Doctor Scrutex handed him the water.  
“Wonderful job, dear. Have some of this and lie down, it’ll all be done in no time.”  
Dib thanked her and took a sip of the water before flopping back onto the hard operating table. Whatever drug she’d given him was working quickly, and he felt himself drifting off into a heavy sleep.

Watching Doctor Scrutex disinfecting various scalpels and other sharp tools, in his hazy mind Dib wondered if this was a good idea or not, before remembering that he didn’t really care, and flitted away into sleep.

\---

Dib came to with an amazing weight lifted. Still groggy and dazed, it took him a moment to process his surroundings. He was lying back in a strange looking wheelchair in a room different than the one he’d fallen asleep in- this one was much more empty, it seemed. His chest was wrapped heavily in white bandages and- oh god, it was flat. Where there was once something there was now nothing… he wanted nothing more than to reach and touch his chest, but he didn’t think he had the strength to even move his arms yet.  
“Well, look who’s up.” Dib turned his head to see Zim sitting with his arms crossed in a chair next to him. “Kept me waiting long enough.”  
“Have you been waiting there the whole time I’ve been asleep?” Dib asked, voice hoarse.  
“Perhaps.” Zim crossed his legs and avoided eye contact.  
“What for?”  
“Well I have to take you back to our room, don’t I?” Zim snapped back, though Dib could see the pigment raising to his face, and it made his stomach do… funny things. He was experiencing a lot right now. Mostly, though, they were pretty good things. All things considered, this was a pretty decent outcome to being sentenced to death by aliens. Smiling gently, he leaned his head back and shut his eyes.  
Zim stood up and took the wheelchair by the handles and, without saying a word to Dib, carefully and slowly wheeled him back to their room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while... i started writing this for nostalgia's sake because zadr means a lot to me as a mlm trans man who discovered himself largely through it, and soon after i'd posted the first few chapters the whole zim's age debate got popularized and jhonen started saying new things that contradicted old things, and that caused me to hesitate for a long time. mostly it seems that he's saying these things because he really wants zadr to die, especially because back in the day he had said he kind of wanted to make zim and gaz a couple, and it may have happened if the show hadn't been cancelled. it's a very complicated situation, and ultimately i decided that in my brain i'm going to stick with what zim's canon age was years ago- about sixteen in irken years. obviously he's a bit older in this fic, as is dib seeing as how he's college aged now. i think i'd like to continue writing this in my spare time because it makes me happy, it makes me laugh, it means a lot to me, i don't get to write much anymore besides this, and it's a very specific and odd situation because of the nature of the show and the creator. i write this for myself, but i do hope other people enjoy it as well... thank you for reading!


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